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They've got a bundled-up grandchild in tow, and were in the neighborhood doing some shopping. They wanted to show off the boy's new outfit. All of their children know what they do, Phillip and Susan have told me, and accept it. After a few moments of chatting, the boy's parents say it's time for him to be off to bed, and leave, the child waving back over his father's shoulder.
Out the window, we watch them drive away. The office of sex therapist Michael Standridge is something like sex in Little Rock in general: It's there, but doesn't draw attention to itself. The exterior doesn't look promising: The only sign that the place houses a therapist's office - or an office of any kind, for that matter - is a simple placard that stands in front of the building on a stake, reading "The Phoenix Group.
Through a door and up a flight of stairs, however, one finds an office as modern and finely appointed as any in West Little Rock.
Glass and stainless steel predominate. Gentle music plays from hidden speakers, and tasteful frosted glass lets light in from the street. Still, Standridge says, the split personality of his office is a must. His clients, both those suffering from sexual problems and those he treats for addiction, demand discretion. A licensed professional counselor whose undergraduate interest was in the field of addiction therapy, Standridge said he fell into the field of sex therapy by accident.
While studying for his master's degree in psychology at UALR in , Standridge's professor offered extra points for a project on abnormal sexuality. In addition to receiving his extra points, Standridge went on to help his professor, Ralph Hammond, author a three-year study of 60 adults involved in sadomasochistic behavior, the largest of its kind up until then. From that moment, Standridge said he realized how complicated human sexuality was, and wanted to study it further.
The result is a thriving practice of around clients. For many people having problems with some aspect of their sexuality, Standridge is the man to see in Central Arkansas. They don't know why they've turned a high-heeled shoe into a fetish object. They don't know why they are devoting emotional energy to something that is inanimate. Individuals coming to me are people are usually caught in some structure that is causing them shame, or pain, or guilt or some legal problem. While normal sexual dysfunction is a large part of his practice, Standridge said that a growing trend among the patients he sees are those having problems with addiction to Internet sex, specifically pornography and sexually-oriented chat.
As far as he knows, Standridge said, he is the only therapist in Central Arkansas treating this kind of problem.
This instant availability can quickly turn something as benign as fantasy into a problem that consumes a person's life. Well, not actually free. But after that, the sky's the limit. The primary thing the Internet has done in Little Rock, Standridge said, is remove the small town "Shame Factor," the threat of being caught indulging your darkest desires by friends or loved ones. With the buffer of anonymity that the Internet provides, Standridge said people are free to pursue their desires, healthy or unhealthy.
With the Internet, everything is switched, because you can have any venue you wish right in your home. Standridge says there is nothing wrong with most sexual interaction between consenting adults, as long as it doesn't consume their lives. But Standridge cautions that a person can't simply disregard their surroundings when indulging in a sexual preference. They're not driving the way everybody is driving, and they know there are consequences. They know that those consequences may not be positive, but they're going to drive 85 miles an hour anyway.
If they get caught, they are going to have to deal with those consequences. And what about the consequences of the path he has chosen in his professional life? It says something about America that when Bob Oliver opened Little Rock's first VHS rental store in , the only films he could get on videocassette were five black-and-white westerns and five porn movies. Even more surprising is that, while most other video stores in the city limits have cleared their shelves of porn or bit the dust, driven out by stringent zoning laws and political pressure, Main Street's RAO Video is still ushering Little Rock residents into the garden of videotaped carnal delight, almost within sight of the state Capitol.
Downstairs, RAO is your standard video store, full of Hollywood blockbusters, schlock, classics, cult favorites, and possibly the best selection of foreign films in town.
But it's what's upstairs that keeps customers coming back for more. Buzzed through a locked door at the back of the store and up a flight of stairs, the over customer can rent a videotape depicting pretty much anything one consenting adult can do to, with, or on another. For anyone who has never been in the back room at RAO, the choices are mindboggling.
Shelves easily 75 feet long run each side of the room, movies stacked shoulder to shoulder and several shelves high, every possibly legal human combination you can imagine, sorted by interest, film company, and actress or actor. Interspersed among them are signed photos of porn stars, some featuring Oliver mugging alongside. Tacked in the stairwell is a poster of Bill Clinton, one of those photo-mosaics made up of thousands of tiny pictures in this case, pictures from "Penthouse" magazine.
White-haired and 60ish, with a boyish grin, the plain-spoken Oliver looks more like a small town bartender than a video store owner who has butted heads with the law.
Born in tiny McGehee, Oliver said his father owned a grocery store, and kept a small stock of 8mm stag movies under the counter. The movies got him in frequent trouble with the local sheriff. So I guess you could say it runs in my family.
Going to jail over porn is not just family lore for Oliver. A few years back, he himself was arrested for distribution of pornography, cuffed, and carted off to jail. Asked about it, Oliver just shrugged. Oliver said that growing up in small town Arkansas left him and many others of his generation with misunderstandings about sex in general.
He said that while fundamentals of sex were common knowledge among young men of that day and age, they were simultaneously told that sex was something dirty, and not to be discussed. I never heard anything good about it. I'm in my 60s now, and I'm just getting over some of the inhibitions I had from all the fear that was driven into me as a kid.
Something of a countertop philosopher, Oliver said he thinks many of society's hang-ups about sex have loosened in recent years thanks to access to adult films. He said that women's enjoyment of sex in particular has blossomed. It was unheard of.
Women's pleasure has increased 50 times because of adult movies teaching people about sex. Oliver said that his upstairs room sees people from all walks of life, men, women, politicians and local celebrities. After all, Oliver said, sex is something everyone wants, even if they won't admit it, and pornography is a harmless facet of that. It's 7 in the morning, a wet snow is falling on Jacksonville, and radio DJ Tommy Smith is talking to a ish woman about things that would have gotten him thrown in the hoosegow for discussing on air in Central Arkansas 15 years ago.
Smith and Fason are not strangers, though on Smith's show that probably wouldn't have made a difference in their conversation. Fason, along with her daughters, runs Fantasy Fashions, a lingerie and marital-aid store in a freeway-side strip mall just outside Jacksonville.
It's all another chance for Smith, co-host Roger Scott, and their usual assortment of unusuals to talk about sex on the radio. Though his ratings have slipped a bit in recent years as other morning shows have taken up his shock-radio format, Smith's frank and funny talk about average guy topics - sex, beer and sports - has made him a perennial favorite, and a frequent whipping-boy, in Little Rock radio.
A few years back, a rival station's entire advertising campaign was basically that it wasn't Smith. Par for the course, Smith is here for the most unlikely of causes: Men in suits, women in sweatshirts and soldiers in fatigues from the nearby airbase, called in from the interstate by the sound of Smith's voice, mill around among the racks of lingerie, eat the generous spread of pizza and barbecue provided by restaurants in exchange for an on-air plug, and peek into the glass display cabinets at the rainbow-bright equipment on display.
Mostly they grin and look at Smith, a man with a self-described face made for radio, waiting for him to say something else. For Tommy Smith's part, he says that talking about sex on the air is not as controversial as it used to be. It is exactly this brand of regular-guy talk that has kept Smith on the razor's edge in Little Rock, able to talk about sex, but also able to stay his critics' fury, and stay on the air.
A bunch of guys sitting around talking about what guys talk about. True to form, Smith said that society's casual attitude about violence offends him much more that sex ever could. But the first time Chevy Chase walks into the shower with Beverly D'Angelo, it's like, 'Hey, look out the window, it's the ice cream man,' because they don't want him seeing a naked woman.
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