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Raised in a traditional Conservative Jewish household in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the idea of exclusively dating Jews -- and eventually marrying a Jew -- was ingrained into my consciousness at a young age. It was not only a way to find a familiar comfort in another in observance and accordance with Jewish culture, but it was also a responsibility: It was more than happiness; it was a duty.
But as I launched into adolescence and concurrently became aware of my lesbian leanings, I experienced a sense of dissonance. At the time, the idea of same-sex marriage was a pipe-dream -- the mere thought of coming out at all seemed like a frightening prospect. My disinclination to disappoint anyone, let alone my family and my community, overrode my desire to be myself.
I didn't want to veer from what I felt was implicitly expected from me: With the support of a few trusted individuals, I ultimately came out to my parents, friends, friends-of-friends -- everyone within a five mile radius, so to speak -- and found that my newly-announced homosexuality, in the long run, barely caused a stir. And while I can't say that everyone embraced me with a rainbow ticker-tape parade, I can attest that the Jewish community that I was most afraid would repudiate my very existence welcomed me with open arms.
Love was love, it told me, and striving towards tikkun olam -- repairing the world -- transcended whether I preferred Natalie Portman to Zach Braff.
It was the mid's, okay? And perhaps that is where my jumping-off point for my argument begins: Both communities uphold the need for love and social justice in all facets of everyday life, and both dictate a need for justice and acceptance, which is why the idea of solely dating Jews seems entirely outmoded.
It isn't hard to grasp the survivalist tenets of Jew-on-Jew dating and mating -- after all, we've been persecuted for thousands of years. But the idea of only dating one type of person for their religion or for their ethnic group, as I define my own sense of what it means to be a Jew seems deeply troubling to me. No matter which way you put it on paper, it is related to the same course of logic that was used fifty years ago to ban interracial dating.
The rhetoric of "stick to your own kind" vis-a-vis Jewish dating isn't exactly bigotry, but it isn't quite not. Moreover, Judaism has taught me about my own sense of agency. In the same way that I can go out to a restaurant with friends that isn't exactly glatt kosher and find a culinary item to consume, I can be trusted to adhere to the integrity of my faith. My sense of Jewishness should not be defined by whom I date or marry, but by the way I put Jewish teachings and ideology into practice.
It's possible to create an environment with someone who understands my own need to engage in my Jewishness, and still respect my partner's own background, with a simple word: With a cosmopolitan view of each other's cultural histories, this can be achieved. One of the wonderful things about modern Judaism is that it does not operate on polarities or binaries: In the past, The League has also held large Shabbat dinners for their users, where they specifically seat people next to each other based on similar interests, educations, and careers.
Created in , Grindr is the swiping app that started it all. In this location-based app for gay men, users can specify what they are looking for relationship-wise and are free to swipe through guys a day. Unknown Monthly messages per user: Since its launch, Her has quickly become the place for lesbian, bisexual, queer, and pansexual women to meet connect with one another online. Live in 55 countries, Her also holds exciting events like massive soccer tournaments, queer cabarets, and camping trips.
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