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He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a Crosswalk. If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid crosswalk. I am 69 and signed up for Christian Mingle. I was married 35 years and he died 8 years ago, and I have had a few men locally interested but they weren't right for me.
I am not feeling comfortable with what I am doing or what I am to discern as maybe a red flag other than the obvious. I think my lack of experience has gotten my focus off of the real issues, but actually what is the real issue other than a man who loves Jesus with all his heart.
For instance, I have one gentleman who is interested but seems too focused on what he calls "chemistry. And what about talking to several men at once. Does that make me deceitful? I feel like I'm cheating. Maybe I was supposed to only get to know one man at a time, make a decision and move on to the next? Online dating has become a serious mainstay as a viable alternative to finding a mate at any age.
With the hectic and often scattered lives many of us lead, online dating is a way to explore larger circles and discover those we would never otherwise meet. I applaud you for your efforts to delve into this realm. As a caution though, many use online dating not as a noble alternative to finding their spouse but rather a place to satisfy their mortal cravings. I have seen my elderly and widowed mother be an enticement to male suitors who want a capable and desirable caretaker along with intimate female companionship.
The advances would be even more intensified had she posted her profile on an online dating site. The bottom line is to not allow yourself be pushed into something you discern as wrong or that makes you feel uncomfortable.
I have had great spiritual, emotional and intellectual chemistry with friends of the opposite sex, which has resulted in amazing plutonic relationships over the years. Chances are though he is probably seeking chemistry of the physical nature which in and of itself is not wrong if it just means pure attraction. The beauty of online dating is that you can communicate with several suitors at the same time until you find the one you would like to pursue or allow to be pursued by more seriously.
As wonderful as communicating from a distance can be, you will only be able to go so far in getting to know someone through these conversations. At some point down the line you will want need to meet this person face to face. When you do, make sure you are prayed up and prayed for. Thanks for your honesty including fears and apprehensions regarding online dating.
Anyone can meet anyone anyplace. While I see you have pure motives in wanting to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you are right in your concerns with the process. Online dating, while successful for a few, is overall a failure for most despite what the dating services advertise. I know this because being in full-time singles ministry I do my own surveys.
From people posting old photos to lying about their age, to even lying about being a follower of Christ—I have heard it all. So what do you do? Here are 10 tips you may find helpful:. Pray that God would connect you to men who really want to get to know you as a person first.
While most singles will say I want to build a friendship, go slow; their flesh can quickly get ahead of their mind. Anyone that God is bringing to you is worth the extra time in building a friendship. Now some men may joke and say they are too old to wait too long. Then I say good-bye. You will never regret building a friendship—a friendship that can be in your life forever. Even if that friendship doesn't lead to something romantic.
Want to meet them? This may be a small matter for some but, for Christian singles who want a faith-filled partnership it's a vital difference, adding to the challenge of finding a partner who you trust shares the same values. This difficulty is enhanced by the fact that not all church-going Americans are suitable date material: Rebecca Vandemark 33 is one Christian single who knows first hand the difficulties involved with faith-based dating.
Yet, it is possible to find romantic success on the Christian dating scene, no matter what age or romantic background you are from. And, for many Americans, that right place is online, with dating sites like EliteSingles. Indeed, a surprisingly large percentage of Christian singles are turning to the internet to find a long-term, spiritually-connected partner.
Dating in the US? The journey towards a truly meaningful connection starts here. Why not give it a go? Once you've completed our easy registration , you'll then be asked a series of questions about you and what you're looking for. Our job is to introduce you to Christian singles you have the best chance of hitting it off with so you don't waste any more time searching. If and when you have more time, check out our 'Have you met This is Christian dating made simple Elite Singles Christian dating is a great way for you to make a spiritual connection with eligible singles in the US.
Christian blogger Carrie Lloyd spoke to us about dating as a Christian today and how online dating can help. She stressed the importance of shared spirituality for building a solid relationship foundation saying: At EliteSingles we understand this and do everything we can to provide you with a system that makes it easy for you to meet fellow Christians who match your personality and share your faith.
With more than one in three marriages in the US beginning online, internet dating is a viable choice for those serious about finding long term love. Our process gives you more control over who you meet and is designed to produce committed, stable relationships.
A recent study by Harvard and Chicago universities also found that marriages beginning via online dating were both more satisfying and less likely to end in divorce. We work hard to protect our members from any potential inappropriate behavior and to ensure they feel confident sharing messages. As well as this, our customer care team manually verifies all new profiles and removes inactive users.